my first love <3

"and may you have the
power to understand, as
as all God's people should, how
wide, how long, how high,
and how deep his LOVE is."
     Ephesians 3:18

It was October 24, 2002 and we were both 13.

We were in the alley behind the church

and he held me to his chest as we danced under the stars.

there was no music only the rhythm of our hearts

his was steady, confident,

while mine threatened to beat out of my chest,

but it was just us

and we were both confident in that.

a silly argument brought us closer and closer

and under those stars, I felt it.

I knew it.

It was a feeling I had never felt before,

accompanied by butterflies

that had never quite fluttered like that.

I was in love.

this night led to my first kiss,

holding hands secretly under the dinner table,

and so much more,

but I loved every moment of it - 

for I was in love.

years and years passed and 

our lives that were once intertwined

slowly began to pull apart

and my heart had never been broken like that before.

but, graduation from high school came

and that night before we walked out onto that stage

we looked at each other and reached an understanding.

that was the night we were graduating from each other

and everything I had once felt, changed.

he had once meant everything to me,

but at that moment he was nothing more than a memory.

and I began to question that.

I had always heard that you never get over your first love.

Than what had that boy been to me?

I was convinced that what I had felt for him was love.

But, that was when God spoke to me and he said:

"you will not know true love,

until you know how to love me"

and that was when I understood.

I had loved that boy, but in my own child-like way.

But, learning to love God was my first step to maturity. 

and if true love doesn't exist without God

then He will always be your first love,

and then I knew that it was true what people say:

you truly never get over your first love

and God will be the center and there he will stay.

I now know what love will feel like 

when it comes along and I will be ready 

to embrace it, on that very special day.

So with God at the center of my heart

I can be patient and wait,

because nothing fake will ever be able to satisfy me

now that I know what it feels like to feel the real thing.